We often talk about the victories, the weight lost, the stamina gained, the level-ups earned but rarely about the setbacks that shape us even more.
Henry Ward Beecher captured it perfectly:
“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”
It’s true. As humans, our brains are wired to keep us safe, avoid pain, stay comfortable, stick to what we know. Yet those uncomfortable moments, the ones we’d rather skip, are often the exact obstacles we need to grow.
A Lesson from the Santiago Bernabéu
On a recent visit to Real Madrid’s Santiago Bernabéu stadium, I couldn’t help but think about what high expectations can produce.
This is a club that has achieved:
• 15 Champions League, European titles
• 17 Ballon d’Ors, including the only Super Ballon d’Or ever awarded
• 36 national league titles
With a legacy like that, it’s easy to see only the success but behind their trophy cabinets (which were bursting at the seams), is a story of missed goals, painful losses, and seasons that didn’t go to plan.
If a world-class organisation like Real Madrid has faced disappointment, repeatedly, then surely it’s part of all worthwhile pursuits, including our personal health, fitness, and wellbeing.
Do Any of These Feel Familiar?
• Setting out to lose 5kg but gaining 2kg instead 🤯
• Training for a 10K PB and hitting a personal worst 🤦🏽♂️
• Starting a “new-year-new-me” program and dropping off unexpectedly 🤷
• Attempting a long ride or hike and stopping due to injury 🤕
• Missing a fundraising target 😔
• Losing to an opponent you felt ready to beat 🫨
Disappointment shows up everywhere.
Sometimes after a failure…and sometimes after a success that leaves you quietly wondering, “Is this it?”
A Simple Reframe: Know Your “Why”
One of the most powerful ways to navigate disappointment is to understand why you’re pursuing the goal in the first place.
When your purpose is clear, your sense of achievement becomes tied not to the outcome but to the pursuit, win or lose. It’s a different kind of energy and builds the staying power to outlast an ephemeral purpose.
Ask Cristiano Ronaldo, Roger Federer, Usain Bolt, Lewis Hamilton, Alex Ferguson, Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, or Tyson Fury why they kept coming back after setbacks. Their “why” was far bigger than trophies, medals & titles.
A Final Thought
Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley, asks a key question and perhaps it’s the same compass 🧭 the greats use:
Are you growing in these three areas?
• Personal Growth
• Personal Experiences
• Personal Contributions
Success becomes richer and disappointment becomes more meaningful when these three are present.
What About You?
How do you handle disappointment, whether after a failure or even after achieving a goal that didn’t feel the way you expected?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
🏠 Look out for our full Home Is Where the Health Is series for more wellness tips, home fitness routines, and smart nutrition advice for men over 40.
If you’re looking to upgrade your home workouts, explore our Home Workout Kit designed with your lifestyle and goals in mind.
